I Never Heard Father Laugh So Much Before 1912

by James Pitt-Payne, London UK - 9Apr2025
2025

Father is a gay old dog,
he likes a bit of sport.
and one night at a party
there were girls of ev'ry sort.
Inside the parlour,
games were played,
the merry time to pass;
they play'd in hiding buttons
when someone turn'd out the gas.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
they were looking for buttons
all about the floor,
when a cheeky girl call'd Maudie Rose
started cutting them off his clothes.
and I never heard father
laugh so much before.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
they were looking for buttons
all about the floor,
when a cheeky girl call'd Maudie Rose
started cutting them off his clothes.
and I never heard father
laugh so much before.

Auntie Jane went bathing
by the sea, the silly elf!
The bathing costume auntie wore
was one she made herself.
To see her splashing in the sea
the family all went,
when Auntie, and her eighteen stone
came from the bathing suit.

Oh I never heard father
laugh so much before,
when he spotted the bathing dress
that auntie wore,
she'd made one out of a window blind,
with a bunch of seaweed stuck behind,
and I never heard father
laugh so much before,

Oh I never heard father
laugh so much before,
when he spotted the bathing dress
that auntie wore,
she'd made one out of a window blind,
with a bunch of seaweed stuck behind,
and I never heard father
laugh so much before,

One day round the monkeys' cage
we all were at the Zoo.
When mother cried to father,
"Look! There's one just like you."
Father said, so dignified
"Those words I cannot stand!"
Then one old monkey smiled at him
and shook him by the hand.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
One of the monkeys then began to roar,
"Look what's just come up by train!
There's Uncle John come home again!"
I never saw father's relatives before.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
One of the monkeys then began to roar,
"Look what's just come up by train!
There's Uncle John come home again!"
I never saw father's relatives before.

Father's fond of scouting
and his heart is full of glee,
when he's amongst the bathing vans
down by the sil'vry sea.
To see him peeping round them all
would fairly make you smile,
one day outside a bathing van,
he stayed for quite a while.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
when peeping through a hole upon the door;
but a girl in there by name of Vi
poked her finger in his eye
and I never heard father
say his prayers before.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
when peeping through a hole upon the door;
but a girl in there by name of Vi
poked her finger in his eye
and I never heard father
say his prayers before.

Father's fond of ballets
where the pretty ladies dance,
he always goes to see them
ev'ry time he gets a chance.
One night he saw one dancing
and so gracefully she tripped
he thought her truly marvellous
when suddenly she slipped.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
He clapped his hands
and shouted out, "Encore!"
When mother jumped right our of place
pushed her programme in his face,
I never heard father swear
so much before.

And I never heard father
laugh so much before,
He clapped his hands
and shouted out, "Encore!"
When mother jumped right our of place
pushed her programme in his face,
I never heard father swear
so much before.

Soft karaoke
Words
piano 1
piano 2
piano 3
piano 4
lyric
pizz str bass
*
I Never Heard Father Laugh So Much Before 1912
Lyrics & Music by Fred Godfrey & Billy Williams
© MCMXII by Francis, Day & Hunter
*
sequence & karaoke by James Pitt-Payne, London UK
on Wednesday 9 April 2025 at 11.47
in association with Torquil Syme
*
James Pitt-Payne